Thoughts while walking back from watering the seedlings in the greenhouse:
- the human form is so weird. our bodies are so linear and it kind of creeps me out when i think about it for too long. we’re basically walking trees.
- how do they make magnified mirrors? also, how have i lived my life without owning one up until this point? (i bought one yesterday and my productivity has significantly decreased, but every hair and blackhead on my face that i didn’t know existed has been efficiently extracted)
- there were two dudes sitting outside near my dorm area on my walk back and they might’ve thought that i was walkin’ the good old walk of shame since it was 8 a.m. and why else would a college student be sentient/mobile at that hour on a Sunday? Although, I was wearing my wonderful, bright yellow crocs, so they probably knew i wasn’t getting any.
Well, this little project is not off to a great start. I haven’t been inspired to write anything AND I’ve created a Tinder again, so I really need to work on my self-control (but hey, at least I already knew that). The end of the semester has been kicking my butt emotionally and I’m not really sure why, but I’m hoping once classes are over my brain will calm the eff down.
At least farm work has picked up some alongside the warm weather. I’ve done some seeding and watering and I almost got to get behind a tractor and do some tilling, but unfortunately the soil was too wet. Most notably, I collected all of the maple buckets and spiles from the sugar bush by myself in the rain last Friday, which surprisingly only took four hours. For the most part, I like working alone, although by the end of this task I was definitely grumpy and very ready to be done. It was cool to go back into the woods after not having visited since the last sap collection, which was probably three or four weeks prior. This time there were a bunch of new baby plants scattered across the ground, the stream was swollen, and there were visible buds on all of the branches. I wish I could say that this quasi-magical scene filled with the anticipation of new life and a splattering of vibrant color reinstilled a new sense of purpose into my own life, but I was too busy trying to calculate how many trips it would take to bring all of the buckets back to the barn using my tiny Ford Fiesta to really appreciate the world around me.
Even though hauling buckets through the woods isn’t my favorite activity, it is still pretty satisfying to accomplish a big task like that all by yourself. Also, these kinds of things are important when it comes to reminding myself of what I am capable of and what makes me proud, especially in these past few days when I’ve felt like my mood and overall mental state have been malfunctioning.
I feel like I have officially entered into pre-graduation limbo. It’s that weird place where you still have a bunch of work to do, but you also feel sort of free, yet also terrified of what’s coming next. I guess that’s what most people would call ‘senioritis,’ but whatever, I’m entitled to come up with fun new terms since this is my shiny new blog. That being said, all that I’ve been able to think about these days is my life after I walk across the stage and receive my diploma. I am super excited about the glamorous lifestyle that I will be living as a farmhand in Western Massachusetts (I’m not even being sarcastic here) and about all of the new adventures that I will encounter in what is inarguably the happiest place on earth.
While I should be worrying about things such as financial stability, meeting new friends, etc., my current obsession has been trying to figure out what to do in all of the free time that I’m going to have come May 20th. I recently came to the conclusion that running, reading, hiking, and occasionally crocheting are nowhere near enough hobbies for a modern young woman to have at her disposal, and thus, this blog was conceived. Mind you, I am not a writer, and I kind of actually hate writing, especially when it comes to writing about myself or my feelings. But for right now, I like the idea of having a place to keep track of what’s going on during what I expect to be a pretty turbulent time in my life. Plus, it was either this or go against all of the progress I’ve made as a recovering Tinder addict and re-activate my account for the 800th time. So anyway, here’s to me sticking with this project and hopefully learning something along the way!