Of course as soon as I stop feeling like a total basket-case a wrench has to get thrown into my progress. I had to go pick up mail from my doctor at the apartment which C left in the hallway, which was fine. He must’ve been inside when I was there, though, because as soon as I left he messaged me saying that he misses me. It did catch me off guard because I had figured that if something like that was going to happen it would’ve happened sooner after the breakup. I didn’t really think it would happen this far out. I obviously panicked and called K and my mom, neither of whom had any real advice. I just responded honestly and said that I missed him, too, but still felt like this was the right decision. He responded with “you’re right” which I think is weird but I guess I should just take it and be happy that it wasn’t something longer and more dramatic.
I am pleasantly surprised that this interaction didn’t completely knock me off of my feet. It was surprising and I feel sad knowing that he is still hurting, but it doesn’t sting as much as something like this would have a few weeks ago. Now that I think about it, I guess it has been just over a month since we have been officially broken up. It feels like it has been wayyy longer, but I think that’s only because I was so checked out while we were still dating. I know that I will still have my bad days and my doubts, but for the first time this whole thing is starting to feel like the right decision and I just need to keep believing that, regardless of whether or not it is true.
Hoeisms 